December 27, 2007
Villain: Jet Fuel Coffee Shop
Torontoist is ending the year by naming our Heroes and Villains of 2007––the people, places, and things that we've either fallen head over heels in love with or developed uncontrollable rage towards over the past twelve months. Get your dose, starting Boxing Day and running into the new year, three times a day––sunrise, noon, and sunset.
What's so great about Jet Fuel Coffee Shop (519 Parliament Street)? It may be a favourite for Cabbagetown residents, local celebrities, the Toronto bike courier crowd, and all those hoping to abandon the corporate coffee chains forever, but––its mean cup of joe aside––what's with the attitude?
If you're a Jet Fuel n00b, you may find it intimidating to walk in the door and be greeted not by a menu, but a tired barista asking what you want to order. You see, there is no menu. At all. "Not having a visible menu is pretty much the height of eatery snobbery," says one Torontoist staffer. "It's like you have to be in the know just to order a damn coffee." Nor are any prices listed: if you have to ask the barista how much your Americano is, you've pretty much just admitted your n00bitude.
Lattes are Jet Fuel's speciality, and avoid ordering a cappuccino or the barista will inform you, "It's basically all foam, you know," with a roll of the eye. Hungry? Sorry, there's nothing edible in the entire place. Rumour has it that if you show up early enough on the weekend, you might be able to find a pastry or two before they sell out. Oh, and bring earplugs if you want to get some reading done, as the hi-fi behind the counter is played loud enough to wake the entire Necropolis Cemetery.
It's easy to see why some people keep going back to Jet Fuel: the staff treat their regulars like gold. Unfortunately, it will take you at least ten minutes to get a beverage if your barista is chatting with an old reg---because you can't talk and pull an espresso at the same time, right? We're sure your service will improve dramatically after a few years of daily patronage, if you can stick it out.
With a Starbucks setting up shop at Parliament and Aberdeen Avenue in Spring 2008, will café competition change Jet Fuel's elitist attitude? It's doubtful that the new 'bucks will get much business from Jet Fuel regulars. But at least the rest of us will finally have a place to get a coffee without feeling like we're intruding.
Photo by chelseagirls.
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I've never been to jet fuel, but judging by this description, I would rather go there than to a starbucks. That place is too much like a borg cube.
Character is a key personality to ANY coffee shop. Yeah, your first time at any funky joint can be interesting - but that just adds to the flavour. Try going into Dutch Dream on a steamy summer night and not knowing what to order - it can be challenging.
Starbucks coffee is bad, burnt, and overpriced. Full stop. 3 bucks for some of the most potent java in the city, coupled with a great environment, beats Seattle's Shi Shi drip anyday. Plus they throw a KILLER birthday party!
Just a note––this entry was mistakenly credited to me this morning; it was written by Karen Whaley.
As an independent business, I tried to like Jet Fuel—I really did—but in the end, I couldn't take the ridiculously loud music that killed any comfortable conversation, the grating staff who "knew better" than you, the freezing cold front section in the winter, the uncomfortable and crowded furniture, and the coffee-in-a-drinking-glass schtick.
Speaking of excruciatingly loud music, Just Desserts at Yonge & Wellesley is intolerable. Aside from the fact that it has no idea what kind of café it's supposed to be (with its projection TV screens showing football games, the cave-like darkness, and strange chunky art), the cacophonous techno always playing at top volume is utterly ridiculous and seems to be only for the benefit of the manager's personal enjoyment rather than providing a comfortable place for customers.
At least the people in Dutch Dream are helpful, and I could easily live with the no menu thing at Jet Fuel, but the two times I've been there I've been treated like a piece of crap. I can see why regulars like it (everyone loves a clique right?) but as a new customer you just feel like you're interrupting people in a place where you're not wanted.
Character is one thing but an exclusionary attitude is just boorish. There are plenty of independent places oozing character without the attitude.
The amazing thing is, even though I've been there three or four times and hated it so much that I actually took the time to write this post, there's a considerable part of me that actually wants to go back and be accepted into the coffee clique. Is Jet Fuel's marketing scheme being so unwelcoming to new clientele that you'll do anything to fit in?
The more rational part of my mind says that high school is over. I'd rather be president of the AV Club than Prom Queen.
So an established coffee shop hurts your feelings once and gets put on a "newsmakers of 2007" list?
(Oh, I also liked how a building collapsed and Torontoist declared it a "hero".)
I haven't been there in... wow... probably a decade. It was pretty much a courier hangout back then - a base of operations of sorts for midnight races and stuff like that. I'm not sure if it still is or not.
A friend of mine from OCA was working there at the time, and invited me to show some art there. The opening night was a crowded, chaotic night of heavy drinking.
I went back once in a while, and knowing some of the staff made it a perfectly fine hangout. But I don't think it was ever really a place for eating at.
It's nearest cousin was probably Bread Spreads - also a courier hangout.
on the plus side you dont have to deal with the place being full of smoke like it was when i used to go there all the time a decade ago. They didnt have a menu then either.
for bonus points order a Jet Fuel, which is halfway between a latte and a cappuccino.
Yup, this is the Jet Fuel I know and dislike. Painfully loud weird music, uppity staff and an overall cooler-than-thou vibe. Yuck. I had a boyfriend who loved Jet Fuel and places like it and now I remember why I didn't much like him either.
So, if you live in that hood, soon you'll be able to choose between the awful service at Jet Fuel or the awful coffee at Starbucks? Wow, where do I sign up for this? Can I go to both? Can someone kick me repeatedly in the crotch as I commute between these java mecca's?
Wait, I don't live anywhere near there. Whew. NIMBY please.
...don't forget there is a tim horton's in there, too....way too many upscale coffee stops for that little strip of parliament...
What's with people saying the coffee at Starbucks is "bad"? Is this anti-corporate vengeance or just bad taste? Is it too bitter for you or something? Is it because it isn't flavoured? They don't have Timbits there?
I don't get it. Do you think anything but Hershey's chocolate is bad, too?
I recently moved to the neighbourhood and I so wanted to love Jet Fuel. And I do like their lattes and their pastries are delicious.
But what's with the ATTITUDE? First, you are transparent for 5-10 minutes before someone from behind the bar barks "whatyouwant"?
One day, I asked if by any chance I could have a decaf latte, please. The poor guy rolled his eyes so far into his head it must have hurt. He sighed "eeeeerrr, nooooooo". I pointed out that they do have soymilk, which for me is to REAL milk what decaf is to REAL coffee, but evidently the comparison was lost on him.
I was also wondering if such a cool trendy place bothers with details such as ORGANIC and FAIR TRADE. It's not like it's posted anywhere, since Jet Fuel does not believe in the written word.
A nudge from Starbucks may be salutary.
One day, I asked if by any chance I could have a decaf latte, please. The poor guy rolled his eyes so far into his head it must have hurt. He sighed "eeeeerrr, nooooooo".
I am with you, cbgtn. Recently, I've been trying to keep my caffeine consumption morning-only, and I'm pretty sure there is absolutely nothing I can order at Jet Fuel to keep my afternoons caffeine-free. And afternoons and evenings are when I want to drink in coffee shops, so it's a predicament indeed.
Nudge nudge.
What's with people saying the coffee at Starbucks is "bad"?
I mean, every time I've had a coffee from Starbucks, it has tasted like crap. Burnt, over ground, whatever, I don't know. It just tasted bad. It's also ridiculously over-priced.
Also, I'm convinced that Starbucks has patented water with an extra hydrogen molecule. I (at the risk of sounding less macho) have sensitive lips, and need to drink my coffee a little cooled down. Their's stays flesh-searingly hot for well over an hour!
To understand Starbucks, you have to know a little about roasting coffee and what constitutes an espresso (and latte/cappuccino)
First thing is first. Espresso can be made with ANY roast. What makes an espresso an espresso is how it is made and not what it is made from. Any coffee brewed under pressure (between 9 and 10 bars roughly) is an espresso.
So what is the roast?
After coffee beans are harvested they are roasted to give the bean a little more depth. However, it's a trade off. The more you roast a bean, the more flavour of the roast you get and less flavour of the bean. Extra dark roasts contain little flavour of the original bean and tastes mostly of the roast itself.
So where does Starbucks fit in? Like how a cook will slather a shitty piece of pork with bbq sauce and spice rubs and cook it for hours and hours to make it taste decent, that's essentially what Starbucks does.
They market dark roasts as being espresso, when really, its just a way for them to hide the fact they use pretty shitty beans. You see, dark roasts are a great way of covering up poor quality beans with the overpowering roast flavours. Cover it with whipped cream, caramel, some chocolate shavings and a partridge in a pear tree and you'll barely notice that you're being served inferior coffee.
FYI: Most award winning espresso is made using medium roasts, not the dark or super dark beans that Starbucks promotes.
Haha,
I gotta laugh at all the softskins in here.
You're transparent? They don't leap to help you, ohs nos!
Maybe you should say something....did you want something? What...I can't hear you over the sound of your sensitivity....What?
I'm really glad there is a Starbucks opening near to where you need it to be...there should be a place that's the same, without any distinguishing characteristic, staffed by people trained to kowtow to a patronage that resembles the facility they've entered who can be treated with kid gloves so they know for sure they're special for buying a $2.00 coffee...
Maybe JetFuel operates on the assumption that is not necessarily for everybody, and that not everybody wants to go in there? If you need someone else to make you feel comfortable in your own skin just to secure a cup of joe, then maybe it isn't for you.
Hell, the people at JetFuel don't even like me, but then again I don't require it of them, and I'd slap them for pretending, yet I'm as polite as a bathroom attendant at a parolee convention.
I hope you get over your fears.
Just before I jet off to grab a cup among the fashionistas at Jet Fuel, let me chime in with a defense...
The complaint, as best as I can tell, is that it isn't just like Starbucks. Well, that I will concede. It isn't just like a chain.
It is, after all, a *neighborhood* place. I seem to remember reading, not to long ago, a post bemoaning Chapters/Indigo/etc. because of the standardization and lack of character. So, unsurprisingly, the staff knows - and it seems to be conceded - likes and appreciates the regulars. It's too bad that some have had a bad experience, but...
Would it be too much to expect a real actual review? I mean, from someone who knows how the place actually operates, and who - er, *likes* coffee? Coffee has caffeine. If you want coffee without caffeine, you don't want coffee. I don't complain to the sommelier at a fine restaurant if their wine list doesn't include cooking sherry. And, it isn't just weekends, it's every day, but Jet Fuel serves pastries and baked goods. They make them right there - you can see them washing the muffin trays right in front of you, which is comforting to know - as opposed to having little elves on the isle of Dominica make them, as might happen in some chains. Yes, they do run out, but I guess that's the tradeoff. It is a coffee shop, not a full service eatery. It isn't Starbucks.
And the music isn't *that* esoteric - unless you consider Velvet Underground, Dylan, Etta James or Wilco totally foreign. Again - it isn't Starbucks, and you won't hear Michael fucking Buble, but thank the christ for that.
Have we really become so inured to chains?
It is a place with its own quirks (although honestly, isn't it a *good* thing that they serve coffee in a drinking glass, instead of something that gets tossed after every use - I thought the Torontoist was supposed to have an environmental conscience?). It has character. It plays good music - sometimes, but not often - loudly. It doesn't serve subs. It serves coffee. Good coffee. And that seems to be more than good enough for the people in the neighborhood, if not for the Holiday Inn types who want things to be exactly the same wherever they go around the country.
I agree that Starbucks espresso is kinda rank. It's way too bitter for my tastes - but they have some really nice, much milder blends (my favourite being the Arabian Mocha Java). Which is why they label each blend as being either "mild" "smooth" "bold" and "extra bold" (their espresso falls under "bold" for future reference).
But it's not any worse than the coffee most small cafes serve. It is, in fact, largely better than most of them.
And it is incomparable to Tim Hortons coffee. I've done a direct taste comparison, between a variety of coffees, (Starbucks fair trade drip and Tim Hortons drip being two of the offerings) and in comparison to most other coffees Tim Hortons is by far the loser. Let's just say it's flavor notes include water, burnt charcoal and mold.
I mean, the reality is if you want the very best coffee you have to go to someplace that actually roasts the beans themselves. Nothing compares to the taste of freshly roasted coffee.
Oooh, I guess I'm too much of a pussy to hack it in the "real" coffee shops.
There are a few things I require when I go out for coffee.
1. Good coffee
2. A comfortable environment
3. My coffee in under 10 minutes and not delivered with a load of snark
I think the comments here have demonstrated that Jet Fuel only delivers on the first point. Quite frankly, if I just wanted some good coffee I'd make a pot of Reunion Island in my own house. Don't pretend that the coffee shop experience is all about the coffee---having a comfortable place to sit and drink it is just as important.
Karen:
Agreed, the coffee is good, although I can drink just about anything so that wouldn't necessarily make a regular. Jet Fuel is about more than the coffee. For the core crowd it's a place to hang out, chat, gossip about the neighborhood goings-on and just a get a good daily dose of human contact with people you sort-of know.
As for the attitude, is it attitude or authenticity? Sure it's nice to go into a place where people have been trained to (or are forced to) smile and be pleasant. At JF, it seems you're just getting the people straight up as they are. I don't sense that they're doing a special attitude just because they're Jet Fuel servers and have some image to maintain.
For a decaf drink, try the hot lemon with ginger.
GMD, would you pay for that kind of "authenticity" in a lawyer, a day care provider, a cop or politician etc? Why accept it from someone who is marking up a coffee, presumably in return for some benefit beyond the product itself?
We have choices. I don't know that I can unbundle what I'm paying for in terms of service style, atmosphere, coffee quality. In general, I'd like to see a bit more authenticity out there and a bit less performance.
Lawyer. That's an interesting one. In private consultation, I'd prefer authentic, but when he or she is going into court for me, I'd rather they put on a performance.
As Eddy in Absolutely Fabulous once said: You can drop the attitude, you only work in a shop."
Similar to the suggestion that if you're drinking decaf, you're not drinking coffee at all, or if you like a friendly environment, you shouldn't go to Jet Fuel ... if you don't like putting on a "face" and being polite to customers who could make as good or better cup of joe at home, maybe you shouldn't be in the customer *service* business.
Hell, isn't courtesy a rule in life as well as business? I try to be nice to most people I know -- if I'm being touchy with my friends and openly criticizing every little choice they make (what do I care what coffee they drink?), people are going to call me a bitch, not "authentic."
Felt I had to register with this site in order to come to the defense of the one place I know in Toronto that has offered consistently great coffee to me and a host of passionate regulars for more than 12 years.
The reviewer clearly has no appreciation for the streamlined simplicity of what is offered: high-end coffee,tea, hand-made lemonade and hot chocolate in a limited number of configurations, a business model that contributes to the speed at which these offerings are delivered.
All of this in a funky atmosphere with more ties to the art world than the corporate.
Owner johnny Englar bends over backwards to provide wall space for monthly exhibits, not to mention opening parties.
The staff fluctuates, as does the staff in any such job, but over the years i've heard them time and again informing newcomers that no, they do not sell de-caf or "regular coffee", like Tim's. That they continue to do so with such patience and kindness is what amazes me! It's an Italian-style cafe-- or didn't you notice the extremely expensive steam machines on the bar?
As for the price of a coffee: Englar held the price of a cappucino to $2 for years while his competitors charged $4-5 for a watery, pedestrian brew in a paper cup.
Finally, he made the jump to $3, an even increment to keep the line moving.
The coffee's great, the music is eclectic (listen, you might hear something you missed on the radio), and the people make great conversation. Jet Fuel is an Oasis in a desert of mediocrity.
Don't listen to this reviewer.
Bob Sheppard
Oh, quit your whining!
I only get crappy service from one person in particular at Jet Fuel (I just try to avoid service from that person). But I keep coming back. Why? The rest of the people and for sure the awesome coffee.
And Johnny is a hoot!
I've even bought artwork from one of their many exhibits there.
If you want a push button coffee, go to starbucks for their vile swill. If you want something that you can actually drink, go to Jet Fuel.
One caveat tho -- you will be spoiled for any other coffee afterwards!