Police are investigating a mysterious purple liquid found seeping around the Don River. When asked for comment, the police stated that they have all their men rolling around in the goo in the hopes that it's radioactive and gives them all superpowers.

A man is dead after a shooting near Broadview and Dundas. And an Etobicoke teen is dead after being hit by a car in a parking lot. Let's stop the hate, shall we?

Yesterday was the warmest October 21 on record. This month has also been the city's warmest October on record. Take THAT, global warming deniers!

The Toronto FC finished off their debut season with a tie. They close off their season with six wins and 17 losses, and are the first team in MLS history to finish the regular season with less than 30 goals. At least Toronto can be proud that we have a record-breaking soccer team!

And the Leafs choked in their game against Chicago. In other news, the Pope is still Catholic.

Photo by Nelson Cruz from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.