October 26, 2007
DiManno Watch: Gone Baby Gone
Rosie DiManno sucks. Every day, poor Toronto Star readers are subjected to another over-the-top, awkwardly-written, occasionally-insulting column about the day's top depressing story from the purple-streaked purveyor of pulp. Some simply can't take it: according to a friend of Torontoist's who worked customer service for the paper, DiManno is the leading editorial cause of subscription cancellations. So, from this point on, Torontoist is featuring the very very worst of Rosie DiManno. No longer shall we turn a blind eye to her literary atrocities; no longer shall we stand idly by as she destroys a paper that we kinda like. We'd say "enjoy," but you probably won't––that's the point.
The Evidence
The first paragraph of today's "Wills a case not of love, but obsession," about Richard Wills, who is accused of murdering Lavinia (Linda) Mariani:The eternal love that Richard Wills has ardently proclaimed for his dead mistress was gone baby gone, by the time he stuffed her inert body in a garbage can.
The Verdict
5/6 DIMANNOS (The more DiMannos, the worse the column is.)
This one's pretty brutal––the "gone baby gone" thing is bad (is Wills a Violent Femmes fan or something?)––but it's the complete discord between tones in the sentence that really makes it classic DiManno. The effect of the sudden sinking of tone in the latter half of the sentence is more comedic than serious, not exactly what you'd want to go for when you're talking about murdered babies. And the end of the article is almost as gruesome as the beginning: Linda, DiManno writes, is "poured onto autopsy tables." Ew.
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She was probably going for the pop culture reference (Ben Affleck's new movie).
Good call, I'd buy that. Aside from making her even less cool, the reference just muddies the article even more: Gone Baby Gone is about the rape and murder of a four-year-old. (Ya know, a baby.) And this is her hook.
I find that comma offensive.
Yes, having seen the movie, I can say her reference was in pretty bad taste - which, considering the author, doesn't come as a surprise.
Is it my imagination or has DiManno jumped from paper to paper? Not that I read her, but her name is easily recognized. I'd have sworn she was a Globe or Post columnist at some point.
Or maybe it's just that we mingle all the papers together in the studio lounge...
This rating system may be the best thing to have ever happened, ever.
The rating system is brilliant David.
And the Violent Femmes song is "Gone, Daddy, Gone.
That's why I definitely thought that for the first few paragraphs she was talking about a baby rather than a full-grown woman. Why would you change "Daddy" to "Baby"? But then antiboy commented that there was a movie out with Ben Affleck that shared that name...a film that is also about a baby. Whichever allusion she's going for, it makes no sense.
david do you even read my column ;_;
Di Manno actually writes some very readable columns... in the Sports section. Her articles on Homolka etc. are just bilge.
OH MY GOD HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ROSIE DIMANNO SHE TRIES HER BEST AND IS PRACTICALLY A PUBLIC INSTITUTION.
I'm kidding, her writing sucks so hard. I'm just surprised that nobody had made that comment yet, especially in all caps.
this is good! more newspaper reviews please!
especially about leah mclaren and her TERRIBLE globe & mail column
Excellent! I look forward to this series...
Ugh. Dimanno is the worst, but only because of her new column inexplicably getting front page or A2 of The Star.
Toronto's worst newspaper columnist is, and has been for a while, the Metro's Sandy Caetano. There is a great Caetano best-of out there somewhere (I'm especially fond of her book reviews).