August 23, 2007
"Camp" Ads Enrage Dumb People, It's Harder To Be A Security Guard, And Our Sizzling Days Are Over
Torontonians outraged by satirical ads for a children's camp where kids learn to be soldiers. The posters (which we wrote about earlier this week) are the brainchild of War Child Canada, which promotes aid and awareness for child soldiers and why that's bad. This story is further proof that satire is not only dead, but has in fact become a zombie. (The campaign's website is here.)
New training and licensing regulations for Ontario's security industry go into effect today. From now on, only your second-most stupid and lazy friend can become a security guard.
The Sizzler is out of commission at the CNE. Officials shut down the popular attraction after a four-year-old nearly slipped off mid-ride. Torontonians are lucky, however, because the Sizzler is really not a very good ride, anyway. It's not like Tiny Tom donut stands had to be shut down for food poisoning. That would have been tragic!
TD Bank reports third-quarter profit of $1.1 billion. But remember: they need less taxation to truly be competitive!
And finally, the Texas Rangers broke a record by scoring thirty runs in a single game last night. Given that the Rangers are the crappiest team in baseball right now, this was just even more unlikely. Kind of like the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup, except slightly more probable.
Image via campokutta.com.
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I was a private security guard for two years.
"Stupid and lazy" is not a fair assessment. You forgot to mention "aggressive".
"Retired" works too. But they usually get light duty in condos and other places unlikely to see serious violence.
I wish I had that camp when I was in Grade 5. It sure would be nice to know how to handle a gun, should I stumble upon one in Scarborough.
When you hit Grade 6, you could have joined Army, Air or Sea Cadets, where they would have taught you to shoot air rifles (and actual firearms, later). And the cadets of the boomer generation would have had the option (depending on what courses they took) of grenade training, too.