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Dropping A Dirty Bomb, I Love The Smell Of Serial Arson In The Morning, Summer School In The City

By Karen Whaley


Sam Sniderman (aka. The Record Man) wants the Sam’s building to be sold to Ryerson University. Unfortunately, this does not comply with the conspiracy to turn every store on Yonge Street into a discount shoe outlet or nail salon. Sorry.
Toronto couldn’t handle a dirty bomb. According to a federal study, “the explosion of a small dirty bomb near the CN Tower would spew radioactivity over four square kilometres, resulting in mass anxiety, a rush on medical facilities and an economic toll of up to $23.5 billion.” We know it’s not funny, but Torontoist can’t say “dirty bomb” without giggling a little.
Police are investigating seven suspicious fires in the West-end, all of which were started between 4:20 a.m. and 8:30 a.m. this morning.
The kids aren’t alright. 108 Toronto schools will stay open over the summer and offer youth programs to keep kids out of the streets and off huffing nitrous oxide from plastic bags.
In related news, the Toronto Police Service has hired 100 youths aged 14 to 17 for a “youth in policing” summer program which launched today.
A troop of rare, grey-shanked doucs (it’s a kind of monkey) have been found in Vietnam. Torontoist also can’t say “grey-shanked doucs” without giggling a little.
Grey-shanked doucs. Hee hee!
Photo by photopia.

Comments

  • brokenengine

    “Torontoist can’t say “dirty bomb” without giggling a little”
    I’ve been a Toronto Dirty Bomb since 1996! heh ba doom ching and all that…

  • Marc Lostracco

    Nothing sounds dirtier than saying, “I have to get off at Old Cummer,” however.

  • brokenengine

    I’ve been an old cum–….naaah, too easy…

  • Kevin Bracken

    I think it was seriously irresponsible of Metro to run the dirty bomb headline so large, along with all the space it was given by other outlets.
    Seriously, the mainstream media in Canada is playing up fear of terrorism? Sounds suspicious to me.
    I appreciate Karen’s tongue-in-cheekitude.

  • rek

    From what I’ve read, dirty bombs are first and foremost scare tactics. Aside from the damage the explosion itself does, the actual exposure to its radioactive payload is so low and with enough warning that it’s unlikely anyone would actually die from radiation poisoning — unless they went out of their way to avoid treatment.
    No dirty bomb has ever been detonated, however there was an incident in Brazil wherein over 240 people were exposed to radioactive dust from a stolen x-ray machine (or something like it) over the course of 2 weeks. Nobody died, and that was with 2 weeks of considerably concentrated exposure before the source of the problem was identified.
    So really you shouldn’t get worked up about it, no matter how much CanWest would *love* it if you did.