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So, There’s This Author Who Has Never Been to Toronto

Last week, we asked Torontoist readers to submit their ideas for a Stephen King-esque plot, for a chance to win tickets to King’s first public appearance in Canada ever (Friday night!), as well as a whole pile of books. Here are the winning plots.

Grand Prize Winner!

Mr. Jingles (of The Green Mile) returns as a zombie mouse to terrorize the inmates of E Block at Cold Mountain Penitentiary.—CHRISTOPHER MCGREGOR


The letters in Campbell’s alphabet soup spell out ominous predictions for horrible events that may or may not come to pass, and it’s up to Jesse try and stop them.—JASON MOORE
A grisly, yet strangely amusing series of deadly incidents rattle Torontonians following installation of new Astral Media street furniture. Let’s just say you’ll want to stand well back from the garbage cans . . .—GREG MILLS
Torontoist graciously deems Mike DeBiasio the greatest King fan and awards him the cherished tickets regardless of his pitiful attempt at concocting a King story.—MIKE DEBIASIO
The boy from the Shining and the girl from Firestarter marry and have twins that can link telepathically, amplifying their other powers as they take over the world.—LOUIS SYTSMA

Honourable Mentions

Squirrels that kill ’cause they’re nuts!—DAN PURPURA
A person recognizes their Soul Twin from a riveting past-life experience… but in THIS life, their Soul Twin is an unapproachable world-renowned celebrity.—AUDREY SPARKES
A man gets an itch that won’t stop until he cuts beneath the surface of his skin and finds out why.—RODERICK THEDORFF
Thanks again to Simon & Schuster for hooking Torontoist readers up.
Kinda-creepy photo of Stephen King with his first car by David King, from Stephen King’s website.


  • Xofer

    Thanks for thinking my pseudo-satire was worthy of the prize.
    Now, if only I could pitch the idea to Mr. King himself.

  • Jonathan Goldsbie

    I don’t know who you are, Greg Mills, but I like you.

  • Greg Mills

    Nice to know I have a fan base. Actually, I think the whole saga of the Toronto street furniture contract would make a good horror plot without embellishment. . .