By Christopher Bird

Is Hazel McCallion’s grip on Missisauga politics slipping? Possibly! However, McCallion’s plan to outlive all potential challengers and firmly establish herself as Permanent Mayor of Missisauga by 2243 remains on track, thanks to her mastery of the ancient art of alchemy and her possession of the Philosopher’s Stone.
New report says Ontario’s universities are woefully underfunded and in desperate need of serious reinvestment. Hey, maybe they could sell more advertising space to corporate donors! I eagerly look forward to kids attending the Gatorade University of Toronto (“it quenches your thirst…for knowledge!”).
Canadian government gives the go-ahead for six Arctic patrol corvettes. Boy, that’ll be some seriously sucky duty right there, won’t it?
Gilles Duceppe will explain today why he briefly considered quitting the Bloc Quebecois to lead the Parti Quebecois. Duceppe was a PQ leadership candidate for about a day and change. Currently the favored most likely explanation in betting is “no, actually I thought I was running for the Bloc leadership candidate again and then I took a closer look at the paperwork and, whoops, wrong party.”
And Toronto FC finally won a game!
Original photo by Cpl. Issa Paré, Rideau Hall