Torontoist apologizes for erroneously predicting The End of The Internet (alas, we are still here) back in April, but organizer Louis Calabro insists that The End is truly nigh tonight. We think he might really mean it this time.

If headliner Christian Bök can’t do it, no poet can. Christian is the author of two outstanding poetry collections from Coach House Books: the 'pataphysical encyclopedia, Crystallography, and the best-selling Griffin award-winning Eunoia, which employs only one vowel in each of its five chapters. From Chapter E (for Rene Crevel):

Whenever Helen needs effervescent refreshments, she tells her expert brewer: ‘brew me the best beer ever brewed.’ Whenever she lets her fermenters ferment the perfect beer, revellers wreck the kegs, then feed themselves the lees. Retchers retch; belchers belch. Jesters express extreme glee. Wenches then sell these lewd perverts sex.

He’s a hella performer whose shows are in high demand around the world: witnessing crowd reaction to his performances is part of the fun. Hear him read Eunoia at UbuWeb (recorded by Steve Venright of Torpor Vigil Industries) and preview his human beat-boxing at PennSound. Check out the show at The Press Club (9 p.m., 850 Dundas Street West, PWYC) before he gets on a plane and flies back to Alberta, where this former Torontonian teaches at the University of Calgary.

Christian has designed artificial languages for Gene Roddenberry's Earth: Final Conflict and Peter Benchley's Amazon. Who knows? Alien languages might come in handy post-Internet. And if The End doesn’t happen today, there’s always this End of The Internet. Also on the bill: aritst Kevin Parnell, hypnotist/mentalist Dave Curran, visual artist Kristin Trethewey, music by DJ ROOKS, and the unimitatable Louis himself.

Video of beat-boxing author at The Scream Literary Festival’s 2006 Alumni Reading by iloveyoursweater.