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Your Toronto 2014 Issue Navigator

How the candidates compare on some of the city's biggest issues.

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The Budget, Mosquito Of The Future, CBC Tests IQs

Conservative finance monkey Jim Flaherty on the budget: “We chose to support hard-working families.” The budget has won favour with the Conservatives and the Bloc Québécois, saving Stephen Harper from a dangerous early election. Flaherty recommended that Toronto “be prudent in their budgeting“, dismissing David Miller‘s One Cent Now and transit plans.
Ontario schools will be getting a boost in cash flow after Education Ministrer Kathleen Wynne announced a $781 million hike yesterday. Music, art and gym classes will be getting $35 million, but buses and special ed are taking a large cut.
Scientists have genetically engineered malaria-resistant mosquitoes. Imagine they could genetically engineer malaria-resistant humans? With snakes for hands and the ability to control space and time?
On CBC’s Test the Nation, Surgeons were revealed to have the highest average IQ with Millionaires at a close second. Fitness Instructors beat Mayors, and poor Celebrities had a less-than-average IQ of 98. Also, right-handed meat eaters in their 50-60′s were the highest ranking Joe Schmoes.
Hey, Menu Foods: stop killing people’s pets and being a dick about it.

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