By Karen Whaley

Dethroned! Ed the Sock will no longer be serving as grand marshal of the Toronto Beaches Lions Club Easter Parade this weekend. After dozens of complaints that the bawdy sock was an inappropriate choice to host the children’s parade, the Lions Club replaced Ed with the less-offensive Luba Goy and Craig Lauzon of CBC’s Royal Canadian Air Farce.
David Miller’s 5 per cent city tax is hiking the price of your beer, your cigarettes, your movies, your concerts and your parking. This is one more reason to spend your Friday nights smoking hash in Queen’s Park.
“This is a public relations disaster on a day like today. Four white people wrestling a black guy to the ground is not what you want (in news clips and pictures)”, says a bystander after a lone protester disrupted a service at Westminster Abbey celebrating the 200-year anniversary of Britain’s abolition of slavery. Toyin Agbetu publically chastized the Queen and Prime Minister Tony Blair from the central nave of the church in front of 3,300 of Britain’s most elite citizens. Somebody’s getting fired as we speak…
Quebec election results: “The Quebec Liberals, under Premier Jean Charest, won 48 seats in Monday’s vote. Mario Dumont’s ADQ became the official Opposition with 41 seats and the Parti Québécois came in third with 36.” Stephen Harper appears to be ready to call a spring election.
A 40-centimetre-long cane toad was found in Australia, about the size of a small dog. All glory to the Hypnotoad.