By Karen Whaley

So last night was the Oscars: Ellen DeGeneres was surprisingly enjoyable; there were not many upsets except perhaps The Departed for Best Picture (really?); Canada only won one award, Best Animated Short for The Danish Poet; Gwyneth Paltrow resembled a giant prawn. And not in a good way.
Yesterday, Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty went to Washington to persuade the U.S. to delay the new passport requirement for border crossings. McGuinty promised info-rich driver’s licenses and the U.S. exempted children from the rule. Negotiations continue.
Mayor David Miller wants a slice of the GST from Ottawa, which could bring an extra $450 million into Toronto’s wallet.
Gas stations all around the G.T.A. are running dry, and prices have skyrocketed.
The Balcony Rapist was released in Surrey, B.C. after 20 years in prison and Surrey is pissed off.
Toronto’s Naked Archaeologist Simcha Jacobovici teamed up with James Cameron to film a $4 million documentary, The Lost Tomb of Jesus. Apparently, they have proof that Jesus really did have kids with Mary Magdalene. In related news, The Da Vinci Code is soon to be included in the New Testament as a canonic text.