By Brian Gilham

Gas shortages continue to plague Ontario and Quebec and it isn’t getting better anytime soon. Hybrid owners laugh manically as the world slowly crumbles around them. Mad Max-style mayhem ensues.
Mayor David Miller unveiled his plan to bring a one-cent share of the GST to Toronto. Miller’s secret weapon? Green-coloured buttons and posters. Predictably, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty responded with a resounding “no way man.” Sources close to the Mayor say he will counter with a comprehensive plan to “bring it on.”
Toronto and York Region Labour Council to distribute thousands of “living wage” window stickers. Stickers? Posters? Buttons? Forget guns, this will be the “Summer of the Adhesive.”
An anonymous donor gave $5.1-million to stem-cell research at The Hospital for Sick Children. It’s always nice to see someone support medical research without trying to plaster their name on a hospital wing.
The Police have added a third Toronto date to their reunion tour. That sound you hear? Thousands of women screaming in excitement. I mean, come on, it’s Sting! He plays the lute!
Finally, the Leafs lost 5–4 to the Habs last night. Sources confirm players were too preoccupied with Sting’s lute to play effectively.
Photo by DeafDJ from the Torontoist Flickr Pool.