February 13, 2007
Karaoke at its Realest
This Thursday marks the premiere of Toronto's Hip-Hop Karaoke night. Brought to you by Never Forgive Action and Earwaks, and hosted by local rapper More or Les (who was interviewed by Torontoist last spring) and local DJs Dalia, Numeric and Ted Dancin', this party promises to be more than your basic karaoke night. First of all, it's hip-hop, so you may want to practice ahead of time or do the track you've known since you were in Grade 6. Secondly, the DJs will be spinning live instrumentals under your rhymes, so there will be no cheesy MIDI track playing or words that highlight as you go (This means you have to know your song really well!). Thirdly, it's all rap all night long, so no one will be singing Meatloaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light."
The organizers had the idea independently, but other Hip-Hop Karaoke nights run successfully all over the world. More or Les says DJ Dalia and the others hammered down the logistics of the night with advice from event organizers in other cities. It must run smoothly, because Big Daddy Kane showed up at Hip-Hop Karaoke New York. If we cross our fingers, maybe Maestro Fresh Wes will make an appearance and do "Let Your Backbone Slide."
With a choice of more than 200 songs, participants sign up for the song they want on a first-come first-serve basis. You get a print-out with the words to your song, and when you're called up on stage, you blow the audience away. So easy. And in case you're wondering, the n-word has been edited out of lyrics sheets, and will be replaced with 'brother,' while some recommend using 'ninja' or 'neighbour' to eliminate racial discomfort at the night.
Sound intimidating? More or Les (a.k.a. Les Seaforth) emphasizes that the party is first and foremost for a good time, not to show off. "We just want everybody to feel relaxed, and we want this to be fun. It's not a talent show, it's a party." If things go well, More or Les says the night will run once a month.
The folks at Hip-Hop Karaoke Toronto remind you to sign up at 9:00 pm, and the show starts at 10:00 pm. $5 at The Boat this Thursday, Februrary 15.
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Hip Hop Karaoke is the greatest thing to ever happen to mankind since the invention of the wheel.
LOL! Love the n-word substitute suggestions! It's my greatest fear come true: Ninjas With Attitude!
Slick Rick - Adults Only needs to be added to that list...I dont see why it isnt on there..
Well, let us skip the boring foreplay Im slidin right in
This girl over my house who had to be about 19
Ass, hoes in my poster
Shes sweatin although she tried to hold her composure
I hoped shed take it in the ass and suck dick
(girl) my my what a nice apartment you got rick
On her knees about to make her fall
(girl) all platinum and gold jammies hangin on the wall too,
You got it goin on
Now my mouth start foamin
The lights dim were kissin and my hands start roamin in her drawers
(girl) stop!
Knew she was joking
Cause I aint even fuck her and her pussy was soaking wet!
Already had her tit out
If I play my cards right, fuck her dead in the hole she shit out
(girl) rick I gotta go my girls waitin
She recaps finally when honey drawers down to her kneecaps
Breathed heavy all mushy bitch
Swore up and down I was gonna fuck her in the pussy
Since friends waitin on subtle
Bout time to make a move upon the hungry little butthole
Meanwhile she acted quite passive
Lickin the hun neck while she lotionin that ass with jelly
Tit hung out the frame nigga loco
Surprised honey didnt put up too much of a struggle, at first
Sinkin in she aint know how to be the bitch went
(girl) ahh rick it hurts take it out of me!
Knocked my magazine down, bitch threw my papers
You wanna keep it down I mean I do have neighbors!
Squirmin away although the table was barrin her
Felt real good my dick was sunk so far in her
She said it felt like a bull dowser barrin her
Sqealin about she couldnt take it anymore in her
My cummed on her straight in the perm in her, (here)
As I drained every last drop of sperm in her (where)
Chorus:
So girls when we kiss and we cuddle, aint no way to put it subtle
When I want the butt hole!
(moaning in back round)
Another girl I met, her experience fast because
Most girls wit kids dont been hit in they ass before
Picked her up sunset
(girl) dont be late for dinner, ma
Bringin honey home from the date at the cinema
Thinkin how to fuck the ass so plottin,
Blown in the elevator, hit the stop button
She smiled, by knowin her butt I wanna bore
I said can I have a kiss now instead of in front of your front door
(kissing/sex in the back round) (uhhhmmm!! oh yeah!)
Although the rule I tried not to push hard,
Im all over the bitch like an octopus
Deep down I know she also wanna fuck
Though I kept my tounge in her mouth so not to put her on the spot
To have to talk no shit to prevent me from bonin
Unzap the bra, when the hooker start moanin and
Expose my espresso suck on her and lick on her
Unbucklin pullin out mad long dick on her
Panties in the way of that, but I want to check it out
Slipped her wet drawers down her thigh and took her leg out
Her butt was juicy kinda fat,
Spun around start to stick her in the pussy from the back
She came, mad juice dripped out,
Still in the pussy then acted like it slipped out
Cum on the floor, she said pardon the puddle
Spread open her cheeks, pushed hard in her butt hole
Uhhhmmm, wasnt a bad date at all, she went ahhhh ahhhh
Start pullin at my balls while Im still penetratin
Felt fantastic, she said
(girl) rick Im not really into this ass kick
Meanwhile rick cummin by the gallon,
Put your hands on the wall please
And try an keep your balance
Lickin the grill in her, meanwhile fillin her
Till sperm start pourin out her butt hole while Im still in her
Then start rammin the pine in her
I almost picked her up with these final grinds in her
Chorus:
So girls when we kiss and we cuddle,
Aint no way to put it subtle when I want the butthole!
(moaning)
Girl: my ass, more, more, more!