Photo by Nadia Halim.

Yes, Valentine's Day is upon us again. We here at Torontoist know that many of you disdain the day and all that it entails, so we took it upon ourselves to show you that it doesn't have to be all Hallmark cards, chocolates and teddy bears. As such, we've compiled a list of Valentine's events happening during the next week that get into spirit of the day in an unconventional way. And, yes, most involve a healthy dose of naughty, so have fun!

If there's anything we missed, be sure to let us know in the comments!

Thursday, February 8th

NOW Magazine's Love & Sex Party @ The Drake Hotel (1150 Queen St W). NOW celebrates its annual Love and Sex Issue by throwing a bash on three floors of the Drake, featuring sex lessons by Good For Her, erotic dancers, love advice and more performances than we can mention. The Drake will also be kicking off its week of Valentine's inspired food. It all starts at 7 p.m. and is $10 at the door.

Friday, February 9th

Food For The Mood @ the Royal Ontario Museum (100 Queen's Park). Find out about aphrodisiacs from all around the world and whether they work or if it's in the mind. But here's the best part: "Evening includes a hands-on display of naughty ROM artifacts"! 7-9 p.m. Buy online for $14/members or $18/non-members.

Skin Tight Outta Sight's Valentine's Show @ The Gladstone Hotel (1214 Queen St W). Not only do you get Skin Tight Outta Sight, but Michelle L'Amour, who captured the heart of David Hasselhoff on America's Got Talent. No word iff The Hoff will be in attendance. 9 p.m. $15 in advance, $20 at the door.

Saturday, February 10th

Erotic Arts & Crafts Fair @ The Gladstone Hotel. Licorice thongs, maxipad slippers and chastity belts... oh my! Come As You Are presents the first Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair, complete with erotic bake sale, kinky crafts, hand-made lingerie, art, zines and more. Dare we say this is a "Don't Miss!" event? Admission is free, with the fair taking place from 12-5 p.m.

Valentine's Burlesque w/The Scandelles @ Lee's Palace (529 Bloor St W). Advertised as "a classy night of erotic entertainment to inspire divine lovemaking," features The Scandelles and guests. $16 advance or at the doors, which open at 9 p.m.

Sunday, February 11th

The Harlettes @ Revival (783 College St). C'mon, why not go for the trifecta of weekend burlesque acts? This is the last one, we promise. Doors 7 p.m., show 8 p.m. $10 in advance @ Roach-o-Rama, $15 at the door.

Tuesday, February 13th

Vito Cazzulongo's Lucky 13 Cabaret @ the Diesel Playhouse (56 Blue Jays Way). What's better than a Valentine's inspired cabaret featuring comics, singers, actors and, of course, sexy prizes, all hosted by the infamous Vito Cazzulongo? Probably not much. 8 p.m., $10/adv.

Wednesday, February 14th

Annie Hall (4:30 p.m.), Casablanca (7 p.m.) and The Fountain (9:05 p.m.) @ the Bloor Cinema (506 Bloor St. W). Sure, the three films have nothing in common, but that just means you've got a better shot of finding something for you and your sweetie on the big day. Hell, Annie Hall is good for all occasions! $5 each for members, $8 for non-members (includes membership).

Les Parapluies de Cherbourg (The Umbrellas of Cherbourg) @ Innis Town Hall (2 Sussex Avenue). This 1964 Jacques Demy film won a Palme D'Or winner at Cannes and all the dialogue is sung. That's all you really need to know. Free, 7 p.m.