GO Transit recognizes that it is falling behind its standards for on-time performance. Its solution? Change the schedule so the trains aren't technically late any more! (The sad part is that that is actually part of the story and not just a one-liner.)

Stephen Harper sends John Baird to Paris while his attempt to make the Tories look like environmental leaders crumbles. Meanwhile, the Fraser Institute and Cato institute - both predominantly run by and consisting of conservative economists - boldly contradicts the scientific community's consensus and says that those thousands of climate scientists are completely wrong. (Memo to Fraser Institute: You can't even prove conclusively that tax cuts work, and that's your primary job and purpose in life.)

In B.C., a legal battle is brewing over the lives of the four remaining sextuplets of January 7th. The parents are Jehovah's Witnesses and thus do not want their children to have blood transfusions. The doctors, on the other hand, are mostly of the opinion that the children need blood transfusions or they will die. This is one of those truly wonderful news stories where nobody wins; not the parents denying medical science in favor of religious belief, not the state interjecting itself into private medical decisions, nobody. (Well, maybe the surviving babies will win a little.)

Bank of Montreal plans to slash one thousand jobs. Luckily, most of the cut jobs will not be customer service positions, so BMO's service will not get any worse. Assuming that was possible. (For those keeping track, BMO profited about $2 billion in 2006.)

The bids are in for a new project to redesign transit shelters, garbage cans and newspaper boxes in Toronto, but they are classified. Torontoist knows that this might seem like a frivolous, self-important and unnecessarily secretive strategy, but come on: do you want Vancouver copying us again? Huh? Huh? Do ya?

The TTC approves a plan to add fifty new "low-ride" streetcars by 2011. The streetcars are larger, quieter, easier to board, and have a little control mechanism that allows them to go up and down on hydraulics in time to the latest hip-hop craze.

And finally: Leafs win! And Raptors also win!

Photo courtesy of hylaride via the Torontoist Flickr pool.