Garth Turner joins the Grits. Green Party leader Elizabeth May takes all her pictures of Turner out of their heart-shaped frames, burns the mash notes and holds press conference to say that Garth Turner is, quote, "dead to her." Turner, for his part, promises that in future he will address the feelings of any dissatisfied constituents by offering them the opportunity to participate in a referendum as to what color his new leathers should be: traditional black, or Liberal red-tinted.

General Rick Hillier orders full inquiry into allegations that captives in Afghanistan were beaten by Canadian soldiers. The results of the inquiry will be public, we are assured. Hopefully more public than Wajid Khan's Middle East report was.

A new tax break for Canadian tobacco processors will, industry experts say, only benefit one company that operates in one riding - that of Immigration Minister Diane Finley. Quick summary of official response: Conservatives say "just an coincidence, really,"; NDP and Liberals say "sheeeeyeeeah, riiiiight."

DaimlerChrysler Canada plans big production and job cuts in Ontario, says Buzz Hargrove. Torontoist has often felt that any bad news from Ontario's automotive production sector is counterbalanced by the repeated recognition of the fact that one of the most powerful labour positions in Canada is filled by a man named "Buzz." It doesn't matter how bad the news gets; you still get a tiny moment of "heh, his name is Buzz." Is this purposeful, do you think?

An ad campaign for Snickers that debuted at the Super Bowl has already been yanked from circulation after it offended gay groups. Apparently some of those whiny gay groups got all offended by alternate versions of the commercial where straight men attempted to commit suicide rather than think of themselves as gay, and by quoting Super Bowl players on their website who were disgusted by two men kissing. Whatta buncha whiners, eh?

And the Leafs have won five in a row.

Original image found via Rick Mercer's blog and, ahem, modified.