By Christopher Bird

As is traditional for Christmas Day, most of the news is bad.
Starting off: James Brown dead at 73. Quick summary of tasteless jokes: He no longer feels good. He is no longer living in America. God has delivered the big payback. The sex machine has broken down forever. Papa’s brand new bag burst. Super bad? Super dead. And so on and so forth, et cetera.
One dead after shooting on King Street early Sunday morning. Six others wounded but recovering from other shootings on the same night. Guess somebody missed the sermons at church.
Myriam Bedard arrested in the United States for the abduction of her daughter. Thus effectively capping one of the downright weirdest stories of the year. Her daughter has been reunited with the father.
Pope Benedict XVI urges world to help abused, hungry and unloved children. (Unless they are being abused by Catholic priests, in which case it is apparently less of a deal.)
And both the Raptors and the Leafs have losses to kick off their Christmas break.
Merry whatever you like, Toronto.
Image from Maclean’s.