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news

Feds, Province, City All Agree: Green is Good!

2006_12_21_green_roy_metzger.jpg
The Christmas tree that a judge banished from the Jarvis Street courthouse lobby was mysteriously moved back to the lobby yesterday morning, then back to the hallway, and apparently will now be returned to the lobby at the orders of the Attorney-General. Little Cindy Lou Who was quoted as saying “it’s a Christmas miracle.”
The debate over the pay raise for Ontario MPPs is set to close, in spite of NDP members complaining that they don’t want any more money. Liberals countered by pointing out that Dalton McGuinty isn’t meeting any chicks because he can’t afford to pimp out his ride.
Toronto’s parks are getting spruced up. After years of budget cuts, funding for parks is being increased by $22 million to $290 milllion. The city also hopes to double the amount of tree cover in the city over the next 20 years, which is good news for Sturdy Danny McGee.
The Federal Tories, plagued by a poor public image on environmental issues as well as the imminent collapse of the ecosystem, are looking to pick up some green cred with a $345 million package to encourage the manufacture and use of biofuels. Critics are calling it a farm subsidy program painted green.
In a related story, forecasters are predicting unseasonable warmth through the next week, meaning that it looks like no white Christmas for Toronto. The long term forecast calls for global warming, followed by floods, massive hurricanes, and a post-apocalyptic wasteland dominated by gasoline obsessed Australians.
photo by Archangeli from the Torontoist Flickr pool.

Comments

  • http://www.newmindspace.com kevin bracken

    I, for one, welcome our new Australian overlords.

  • http://www.takethetooker.ca Ben

    Dalton’s difficulty with women probably stems from his being an asshole, not his lack of an expensive car.

  • ColinM

    Ben: But he has to waste ten seconds talking to these women before they figure out he’s an asshole. Once he has a pimped ride, most women will know ahead of time and won’t bother talking to him at all. He’ll save a lot of talk time and narrow the field down to his key demographic, desperate women and prostitutes.