By Christopher Bird

Condoleezza Rice promises to “look into” why Maher Arar is still on an American terrorist watchlist. Remember when you were at work and someone at work kept stealing your yoghurt and you were pissed so you went to your supervisor and complained and he said he’d “look into” it? This is kind of like that, except Maher Arar is probably a lot less important to Condoleezza Rice than yoghurt is.
Queen’s Park Grits and Tories find common ground: they both want more money. Dalton McGuinty promised that the money would just get blown on frivolous things and therefore it would just be directed back into the economy and everybody would win through the miracle of trickle-down economics.
Federal officials claim that allegations that private-sector airport security workers conducted inadequate searches are overblown. Each security worker, for example, at least asked each person bringing carryon onto the plane, “hey, is that your bag?”
Finalists announced in Regent Park art contest to redesign sanitary street covers. Among those not selected: a cover saying in large all-caps print: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING AT A MANHOLE COVER, DUMBASS?” And here I thought the time was ripe to reintroduce ridicule back into street life. My bad!
The Canadian Stage Company will not be producing My Name is Rachel Corrie. Arguments about whether or not the play is anti-Semitic propaganda aside, producer Martin Bragg claims that the reason he doesn’t want to produce it – well, it boils down to “it sucks.”
And finally, J.K. Rowling has announced that the title of the seventh and last Harry Potter book will be Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Potter fandom has already fiercely begun debating the merits of the title, most of it ignoring the fact that it’s a frigging children’s book and that the title will thus be a wee bit out there regardless.
Photo originally from Warner Brothers’ promotional site for “Goblet of Fire” and, ahem, modified.