December 5, 2006
On December 6th, Wear the White Ribbon
Fourteen women engineering students were killed because they were just that - women studying engineering. On December 6, 1989, an anti-feminist gunman entered l'École Polytechnique de Montréal and murdered them.
Tomorrow Toronto will remember the Montreal Massacre as part of the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women, otherwise known as "December 6th." You can attend the YWCA Toronto daytime candlelight vigil at 1 p.m. at the organization's headquarters, or visit the New Women's College Hospital, in the Cummings Auditorium, at 12 p.m. to pay tribute to the women.
Local universities are also getting involved. At noon, a ceremony will be held at Ryerson University's Tree of Hope sculpture in front of Kerr Hall East, the Quad, and University of Toronto will conduct a service in the Great Hall at Hart House at 12:15 p.m. U of T's Women Won't Forget plans to host the Candlelight Vigil to Remember All Women Murdered by Men at 6 p.m. at Philosopher's Walk (Bloor St. and Avenue Rd.). There they planted fourteen red oak trees, in memory of each woman killed in the Montreal Massacre.
The December 6th Fund Toronto will be selling commemorative rose pins and handing out pamphlets at select TTC stations during rush hour. Check out their website to donate or volunteer, or simply wear a white ribbon to honour the women who were and continue to be victimized. Do your part, because the Conservatives sure won't.
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Anti-feminist Muslim gunman, let's not forget. Think there might be a connection?
If you read his suicide note, it's obvious the connection is more related to Marc Lépine being a complete and total sociopath.
phil's been reading too much jan wong.
First of all, you don't "honour" abused women. Sympathise with them, sure. Honour? No.
Secondly, wearing a white ribbon (like wearing most ribbons) is dumb beyond belief. Are you trying to distinguish yourself from that massive "pro-violence against women" group? Are you so arrogant that you want the world to know you donated a couple of bucks to charity?
Thirdly, that's a cheap shot at the Cons to end the article. The offices were a waste of cash. Unless every woman in Canada has a scary looking bodyguard with them 24/7, you will never "eliminate violence against women". You can only deal with the repercussions after the fact, and there's other organisations that handle that. Has their been a mass unpublicised increase in violence against women since Harper withdrew the funding?
SOW regional offices were actually a pretty good deal [it got costed out on some other msgbd - you can only get about 3 staff per office] and fer the luvva keerist, SOW didn't deal solely with violence against women. And if you can only deal with the repercussions of violence, then why bother with security guards? Why not just have insurance, and give up on this frivolous notion that you can prevent things from happening?
People wear white ribbons not to "distinguish themselves from the pro-violence group" but as a reminder of the massacre and the issues of violence. It's the same as putting ribbon magnets on your car, sporting a poppy, or even a crucifix. People like tokens of remembrance for benchmark events, including silly but harmless things like Father's Day.
I mean, people wear hockey jerseys everywhere, apparently in the event that the team is short a player and they need an immediate substitute from the stands. I find businessmen in dress shoes wearing a Leaf jersey over their shirt and tie infinitely sillier than a pinning a white, red, or pink ribbon to one's coat, so why the animosity, LBB?
Andrew - Security Guards aren't ridiculous, because they prevent violence in a limited area. One security guard per store makes sense, and is a successful deterrent. 16 regional offices with 3 office workers a piece in a country the size of Canada is not going to prevent violence against women, anymore than having one security guard to cover every shopping mall in the GTA would prevent shoplifting.
Marc - Great point, but I'm not going to defend people wearing dress shoes and Leaf jerseys! The only thing I can say is that people wear their sports jersey because there's about 30 different teams you could support, and the jersey's saying "I support this one". However, you don't really need to diffentiate yourself from the 0.0001% of the population who are pro-violence against women. It tends to go without saying.
I think the visibility of violence issues is more important to the people who are victims of violence. Most domestic violence is never reported, and victims of abusive relationships often feel alienated and alone with no clear path out of their situation. Though I don't wear ribbons or poppies or anything like that, I do think that any awareness that there are solutions and safe places for victims of violence is probably a good thing.
The École polytechnique massacre is a bit different in that Lépine was clearly sociopathically angry way beyond his twisted views on feminism, but since he only targeted women and it was our country's largest solo killing spree, it subsequently brought issues of violence to the forefront. I wish it was done in more effective and tangible ways than by wearing a ribbon once a year, but it's probably helped some people.
WALKER #1: Hey, where's your ribbon?
KRAMER: Oh, I don't wear the ribbon.
WALKER #2: Oh, you don't wear the ribbon? Aren't you against AIDS?
KRAMER: Yeah, I'm against AIDS. I mean, I'm walking, aren't I? I just don't wear the ribbon.
WALKER #3: Who do you think you are?
WALKER #1: Put the ribbon on!
WALKER #2: Hey, Cedric! Bob! This guy won't wear a ribbon!
BOB: Who? Who does not want to wear the ribbon?
This was a horrible event, but as a male who has never even considered violence against a female, I resent being annually clumped in as "part of the problem" of "male violence against women" as if I am somehow even minutely responsible for the actions of one psychopath. I remember memorials for this event in which no men were allowed to attend. Disgusting. Did that mean the husbands, boyfriends, fathers, and brothers were partly to blame for the murder of their loved ones? Many men are also victims of violence and murder, usually by other men.
These shooting victims deserve to be remembered and honoured, yes, but the use of the anti-male angle here is really offputting. Violence against anyone, by anyone, is wrong.
If this opinion is not PC, well, sorry. Equality is a two-way street: I won't make assumptions about you based on your gender, but please don't make assumptions about me based on my gender, either. The end.
I've never engaged in violence with anyone, but I don't feel clumped-in as "part of the problem," nor do I ever suspect any woman thinks I or the general male population is.
The fact remains, however, that the vast majority of domestic violence is committed against women by men, that it's an oft-neglected and unreported problem, and that it's happening as you read this. Men are not only conditioned to act with aggression, but they aren't often prepared to identify and control that aggression when it arises. That's why it's important to discuss it, and discuss it often.
I respectfully suggest that if you feel "attacked" by women over an event memoralizing a tragic, undoubtedly misogynistic event, you're missing the point entirely.
Hmmm I didn't feel any anti-male anger. Am I missing something? Did I have my head in the sand all day? Oh that's right I don't have a knee jerk reaction to the very real problem violence against women.
Man, when did my readers get all anti-feminist all of a sudden? Sheesh.
Yes - violence against women is a problem, but it's not one that's ever going to be solved through marches/office workers/candle-lighting etc. No one man in a rage is ever going to stop mid-slap and say "ooooh...maybe I shouldn't, those people lit candles against this". The best way to reduce violence against women is to prove it will be dealt with seriously - not through ribbons and candles, but jail terms & criminal records.
The term "honour" is thrown around too lightly these days too. You can't honour someone simply for being a victim, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The ribbons and candles are simply memorial paraphernelia that remind people of a larger issue. They aren't intended to solve any problem. The "honour" comes from honouring their memory by not forgetting they died at the hands of a sociopathic anti-feminist.
December 6th is a day for memorial, just as November 11th and September 11th are.
My copy of Merriam-Webster says that "honour", in the context I used, means "outward respect." The same dictionary says that "respect" means "high or special regard." To go even further, to regard means to consider, to observe. I hold that I was correct in using the word "honour". You're probably interpreting the word in relation to honouring soldiers who died at war, for instance, where they did something "valuable." But- isn't studying to be an engineer, as a woman in 1989, valuable?
No one is making you wear a white ribbon. There are people who donate hundreds and there are people who donate a few cents, and the ribbon does not have the amount donated stamped on it. Like Marc said, it is "a reminder of the massacre and the issues of violence. It's the same as putting ribbon magnets on your car, sporting a poppy, or even a crucifix." According to the White Ribbon Campaign (which is run by men, might I add), "wearing a white ribbon is a personal pledge never to commit, condone nor remain silent about violence against women."
Violence against women probably isn't going to immediately and suddenly increase directly because of cuts in the Status of Women Canada. But less funding definitely will not help decrease violence. Yes, SWC doesn't solely deal with violence against women, as Andrew said, but they are obviously involved since they promote the general well-being of women, women's rights, etc.
"However, you don't really need to diffentiate [sic] yourself from the 0.0001% of the population who are pro-violence against women. It tends to go without saying." I disagree. Your next door neighbour isn’t likely to make it very public that he's a woman hater. These things are often kept silent and underground. Or people may be passive in response to the issue, and don't really have a stance. And- they may hold a "whatever" attitude towards it because they don't think it constitutes as an issue, because they aren't aware of it. When one sees the white ribbon, it is a reminder that women are still abused and killed for gender related reasons.
Yes, wearing the ribbon and raising awareness doesn't seem to be substantial enough, but it is much better than doing nothing at all. Awareness is better than inaction in every way.
I don't know of a group in particular that excludes men from the services, but it's possible the group just wants a time of peace where women can express themselves or remember with members of the same sex, with the violence-targeted group, with people who share the same issues. The men's White Ribbon Campaign holds memorial services, where men are most welcome.
Of course men are victims of violence, and men are not less important, but how many men are abused or killed because they're male? This isn't about assuming that all men are out to get women, which is untrue. It's about raising awareness of gender related violence, that it continues to exist, and that it still stands that women are the primary victims this gender related abuse.
Marc, you did an excellent job responding while I was away- thank you.
I think one of the issues about men's violence towards women is that there is no right place, right time. L'ecole Polytechnique was, for those women, the exact right place, the exact right time. Lepine targetted them because they were women. They were there because they had a right to go to school and learn to be engineers and not get shot to death. Honouring their lives means not forgetting why they died, which is critical if you wish to really make some headway in reducing men's violence towards [against?] women.
Wearing a little white ribbon is a public proclamation that you recognize that there is a problem of men's violence against women and that you at least are making some attempt to change it. That said, I don't wear one. I don't wear poppies or ribbons or tshirts with messages on them [well, I don't buy them, I'm trying to ease them out of my wardrobe]. But that's me. And I for one don't assume just because some guy is wearing a white ribbon that means he's perfect and doesn't hurt women, nor that a guy who isn't wearing one is a slobbering misogynist.
Andrew, you put it just right -- the women of l'Ecole Polytechnique were right where they belonged. Only Marc Lepine made it the "wrong" place.
One of the major problems is that often the abusers do not even view themselves as "anti-women", per se. Their rationalization may be that women deserve to be treated with violence and degradation ... that women are somehow meant to be treated exactly this way.
"High or special regard" for people you never knew? Who did nothing out of the ordinary except die in an unfortunate circumstance? Studying to be an engineer is worthy of national rememberance now?
Fact is, thousands more people die per year through road accidents, but I don't see people wearing ribbons for that, or cerimoniously honouring the memory of those people.
Let me give you a similar example of why mass honouring like this really peeves me. I live in London, and on November 11th, we gave a one-minute silence to people who gave their lives for thier country. On July 7th, we gave a two minute silence for victims of the Underground bombings. For what? In memory of the people we never knew? For the bravery of people who were simply travelling to work, and had they been given a second chance, would not have gone within miles of the bombing location?
If you feel it's necessary to wear a ribbon to differentiate between yourself and the 0.00.....1% that are violent towards women, you may as well cover yourself in ribbons proclaiming the obvious "I'm against murder!", "I'm against mass genocide!", "I'm against paedophilia!", "Down with incest!", etc etc.
Indeed, why honour the war dead? Yes, many gave their lives, as opposed to having them taken away, but what about firefighters, police officers, or even doctors, who all continue to actively risk their lives? Why are they ignored? Why do they not deserve a moment of national silence?
Why do we honour some firefighters because of September 11th, but disregard thousands of others who have died in industrial or house fires? What about firefighters who survived fires only to die of cancer, caused by a lifetime of fighting toxic fumes, later? Are their deaths less glorious?
Do you honour them?
Hmm, I wonder if there's a difference between someone who died in a road accident and someone who was murdered because she was a woman studying to be an engineer. I wonder.