Whyte Avenue Syndrome

By Joshua Errett

If Oliers grinder Ryan Smyth and Nickelback singer Chad Kroeger are proof that all Albertans look alike, does that mean they both will eventually look like Ralph Klein? Speaking of Albertan meatheads, are they still throwing cuts of Alberta beef onto the ice in Edmonton? And what’s with the drunken revellers brawling on Whyte Ave?
(Note: At first, we imagined that one drunken reveller must be inviting all the rest of the drunken revellers for these post-game brawls, probably via a MySpace bulletin. But sources close to the brawls have told us that there is simply no where else to brawl in the city of Edmonton, so Whyte Ave has just become a default brawl zone.)
Whatever! It’s Canada’s team now. Oilers vs. Ducks at 8pm tonight.