By Alison

Our new favourite toy hasn’t lost it’s appeal yet (how could it, when people continue to enter such evocative search terms as yoga pants bums, fear of lines, and another crappy birthday), and this week we’ve decided to mix it up a little and answer a few of the better anonymously Google-posed questions.
1. What is not a good role model?
Among many other things, Mel Lastman – just look at his son: “Who pays their taxes? NOOOOOO-BODY!”
2. What kind of cheese do you use in quiche?
The ever-handy AllRecipes.com has many a recipe for quiche, and the cheeses called for run the gamut from asiago to zamorano, though some of the more popular are Swiss, gruyere, and cheddar.
3. How tall can a chia pet grow?
We’re not sure we want to find out. However, we hear that chia is edible and nutritious. Why don’t you try it and let us know?

4. How did Orlando Bloom get famous, or known so well?
We seem to recall a little film he did a few years back, an adaptation of one of those old Tolkien books? Does anyone know what we’re talking about? However, we kind of think his continued fame is a bit undeserved – we find him bland, and we have no plans to give Elizabethtown a chance.
By the way, with the exception of Almost Famous, Cameron Crowe’s films have been unequivocally awful since he reneged on his promise to Eric Stoltz. This is obviously no coincidence – not only does Stoltz’s presence make everything a bit tastier, but we’ve always suspected he wields a surprising amount of power for such an unassuming redhead.
5. How to toss shoes on wire?
With practice and precision.
6. How to prepare inkless footwear impression?
We have no idea what this question means, but we’ve always stood by our belief that one good Dada turn deserves another. So we’ll give it a go with our best stock absurd answer: Paint the telephones and put the coffee maker in the pillowcase.