By Joshua Errett

The most exasperating aspect of Super Model Pizza is the signage at the front. The pizza-maker, located at 772 College just east of Ossington, advertises a “crust as thin as super models” and has heavy promotion for their poutine, when neither can be delivered. Super Model Pizza isn’t super and definitely couldn’t model.
First off, the crust is modeled more after a Stouffer Delight pizza than anything resembling the stereotypically waif-thin model. Intellectualizing this slice is not even worth the effort; it’s just that non-descript.
Second off, no poutine on the premises. If this travesty occurred in the Ottawa Valley, the owners of Supermodel Pizza might have to worry about their safety. In Toronto, where we take our poutine much less seriously (for those who don’t know, poutine in the Ottawa Valley is similar to Roman Catholicism in South America), this still constitutes a miscarriage of poutine justice.
Right Said Fred, who authored the early 90′s, model-related novelty hit “I’m Too Sexy,” is even too good to bring up in this context. The only redemption at Supermodel Pizza is that they sell Zig Zag rolling papers – probably because a marijuana cigarette and subsequent ‘munchies‘ are required for eating there.