By Erin Rodgers

Herewith, Erin Rodgers spends a day in the city for less than $5.
For years I felt trapped in the suburbs. I imagined the day that I would move downtown. It seemed like some kind of glittery dream, albeit a dream I put off for several years to sponge off my parents and generally make myself a nuisance. However, now things have changed and I, too, have become part of this thriving metropolis (a fancy word for place with too many damn people).
Oh Toronto, the sights, the sounds, and of course, the amount of money you have to spend to enjoy those sights and sounds. Now there is no longer a fully stocked fridge or parental car at my disposal. I have discovered that my father was right and money indeed does not grow on trees. Really wish I had learned that before I bought that money tree from the travelling salesman.
Suddenly I have had to become creative in my spending, or as you less visionary people might say, cheap. My solution – to challenge myself to find a day’s worth of entertainment for only $5. I’ve always enjoyed a challenge after all. I invite you to join me. Think of it as low-rent reality programming with nary an Ashton or Paris in sight.

ODYSSEY #1- Kensington Market
I admit, this is a no-brainer. Kensington Market is full of crusty punks all the time. Broke punk kids are a sure sign that a place has cheap stuff. Well, unless a gaggle of kids from the suburbs just spent a bunch of Mommy and Daddy’s money to look like they’re broke punk kids. However, as I no longer have mommy and Daddy’s money I was going to be forced to resist the urge to shop on this trip.
After all, vintage warm-up jackets and ironic trucker caps don’t come cheap.
Unfortunately, my original plans were derailed by mother nature. After looking out the window, my fellow adventurer decided to stay home. This meant my original plan of a picnic in Kensington park was a no-go. Pulling out a picnic basket by yourself is guaranteed to elicit reactions of pity from strangers. A reaction I try to avoid.
Suddenly this idea didn’t seem as easy as before. What the hell was I going to do? Well as you?ll see from the pictures below, I was able to have a pretty sweet time all by myself, and without any set plans. Oh, and I promise my next adventure will be much more creative.
Man, I wish I had decided to make this $10 Odyssey. Getting places without the bus on a hot day sucks. I also wish I had brought some music. But hey, what’s the point of listening to music you like when you can spend 8 hours obsessively humming a Britney Spears song some asshole is playing at top volume from his car stereo.
Hustling, bustling Kensington. Make sure to walk really slowly in front of someone. People love that, I know I did.

This is why I love Kensington Market. This is indeed a stuffed fish, mounted on a plaque. Somebody had set up their own vendor table and was selling it on the street. Hey look, that stuffed fish is only $30. Too bad I only have $5. God, why must you punish me!!!

Yum, fresh fruit. I can be healthy and cheap. I decide to make my way to the park, crossing my fingers that it doesn’t rain.
I forgot how much fun it can be to people watch. These kids were hilarious. However, while it is socially acceptable for a girl to sit watching the kids play in the park, I think if I were a guy sitting by myself I would be currently recovering from a major concussion.

Watching kids is fun, but nothing beats watching weird adults. The guy in the black bathing trunks spent about 20 minutes playing with this toy that he had brought for his kids. Either that or he had some major mental problems and I’m a jerk for making fun of him. Either way, it was mesmerizing.
Underwear for 69 cents? Hmmm, I wonder why?
Oh, they’re shiny nylon granny panties. Never mind.
The next few pictures are another reason I love Kensington. They pretty much speak for themselves.


Sweet, I just spent an afternoon in Kensington and I only spent $1. Now to treat myself to a real meal. This place had cheap pizza and free samples.