February 8, 2005
Theatre Tuesday: Cell Hell... and Fringe Party
When a cell phone goes off in the middle of a play, the logical person to hiss at is the miscreant who forgot to turn off his or her phone, of course. At the same time, however, we must recognize that to err is human. Even Torontoist has had something of ours beep at an inappropriate time once or twice. (It was a funeral. Yeeks.)
Less understandable are theatre companies that still do not have announcements at the beginning of shows reminding audience members to please turn of their cell phones and unwrap their candies. That's just asking for it.
Last Friday’s opening night performance of Poochwater, Mike McPhaden’s resilient little comedy about a quirky war vet who forgets who he is, was interrupted by cell phone ringing not once, but twice. And the (well-reviewed!) show is barely over an hour.
The bulk of the blame here should go to Theatre Passe Muraille and rental company The Poochwater Collective for not
having a recorded announcement or a brief message delivered by one of the ushers before the show, especially considering that one of the strengths of Poochwater is that it attracts a lot of non-traditional theatregoers who may not be fully aware of theatre etiquette. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of Jay-Z ringtones, yo.
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Tonight is the 2005 Toronto Fringe lottery party, the event where the plays that will be appear in the theatre festival next summer are selected at random. Torontoist will be at the Tranzac club at 7 p.m. crossing her fingers that her one-woman show – Adventures of a Blog Girl in Search of God – gets picked and wishes best of luck to all local theatricals in the draw.
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Bonne chance!!!!
OK that's just crazy talk. So now it's the THEATRE'S fault that you/he/she/it forgot to turn off your cell phone?!
What a fucking cop out.
Opening night of the COC's Siegfried, a couple of weeks back, a moment that has been 7 years or so in the making for the creators of the production at no small expense... 4 and 3/4 hours into a 5 1/2 hour performance, the audience is enthralled and deeply anticipating the opera's climax and denouement. Brunhilde who has been in her dressing room for the entire performance comes onstage and is about to launch into her duet that will wind up this magical evening.
Someone's phone rings.
The entire theatre grumbles. But in the massive O'Keefe/Hummingbird centre, it's impossible to pinpoint exactly where the motherfucker who's still never figured out how to change their phone from the default ring, let alone to vibrate, is sitting.
The audience is kicked out of the experience, suspension of disbelief shattered, the performers have to refocus and try to contain their rage.
You ever had the experience where you're 50 minutes into your favorite TV drama and someone walks in and starts talking to you? Grrr. Now imagine that you paid $240 for that episode. And multiply that experience by 3000 people.
The COC _did_ remind people to turn off their cell phones, but in all likelihood, the dipshit went out during one of the two intermissions, made a call to the babysitter or some such bullshit, then forgot to turn it back off when returning to the hall for the third act. It's not the theatre's fault - it's the fault of the self-absorbed techno-incompetent who didn't turn their ringer off.
I propose we create a new bylaw that permits the unholy beatings of idiots who receive calls having left their cell phone ringers on at public performances. Surely that's something that TOist can throw its growing weight behind?
Of course, it's the idiot's fault. But it's like flying on an airplane and the airline not making passengers pass through a security check first. An occasional idiot will still get through even with the security check, but not as many as otherwise.
I'm an advocate of a short polite message before the first act and after any intermission. This is what CanStage does at the Bluma Appel.
that is the longest comment i have ever seen. good work.
but, i should tell you guys that in FRANCE they're thinking of actually blocking cell phone use in theatres. maybe they even started doing it... but the idea is to jammm the signals so that no one forgets or not forgets to turn off their cellies. what do you say to THAT?
BRING. IT. ON.
I can now wind down my research on an enormous laser that detects the precise coordinates of the offending cell phone and owner before vaporizing them into a smoldering puddle of goo.
Unless of course the blockers fry brains in the theatre - in which case, its back to the lab.
OK so after a little digging around, it would seem that the jammers are out there and ready to be used. They've been banned in the UK and are close to being shut down by the FCC in the states.
So who at Torontoist is going to lead the campaign to have these devices installed in theatres in Toronto? Someone pick up the ball and run with it.
i'm on it. we'll have more posts on this subject rest assured. and not to mention a few scathing emails will be sent!