By Sarah Lazarovic

Smitherman: Here is $200 million dollars.
Hospitals: To what do we owe this great bout of generosity?
Smitherman: Give $91 million of it to the 9000 peeps you will need to fire. I don’t care whatcha do with the rest of it. New vending machines?
Hospitals: Smithy, you are reducing us to smithereens!
Smitherman: No worries nurses, I’m sending in my ‘turnaround teams!’ They will rock it to your budgets.
Hospitals: That’s just hooey, a temporary repair, a ‘band-aid solution’ as hacks often say. The Star says you have only postponed the problem, not solved it.
Smitherman: Guys, whaddya want from me? I’d like to have a tete a tete with Ujjal, but he’s hanging with Paul and Sheila and an unfortunate khaki vest in Thailand.
Hospitals: Don’t evade Smithy! Ujjal is doing his best over there, supporting the same sex bill, and making sure Paul and Sheila don’t stay out too late. You, on the other hand, are band-aiding us. We know we’re not perfect. We know we let funds go awry here and there, and we know we need some tweaking, a little nipping and tucking, if you will, but pretty pretty please won’t you help us?
Smitherman:Guys, I’m nursing a bad hangover. Can we just talk about this….next year?
Photo: CBC